CanExplores

I was getting to know my family again after being in California for the last 8 1/2 years.  I went to California to work, learn, and become a minister for the homeless.  After being gone so long, it was hard getting back in the swing of small town living- was not like riding a bike.  I was struggling with everything….. I loved California, my position, home and the beach.  I did not like my hometown – that was one of the reasons I moved, but now coming back to this area was extremely difficult.  I loved being new my boys and grandchildren, which was why I had chosen to come back to the Midwest.  The small Midwest town was not my thing but my children and their families were a large missing part of my life in California so I was determined to make it work.

First, I had to reconnect.  Connecting to two of my children was pretty easy- they had stayed close even while I was away, one of my son’s on the other hand was a little more difficult.  My granddaughter was such a blessing and joy to my life and my grandson should have been an easy connection but it was not.  He was my hardest connection, Evan a 4 year old who only liked his maamaa and great grandmother.  I was this intrusion to his life that he was not sure he wanted.  Every time we spent together was like a struggle.  He seemed to hate me for no apparent reason.  He was difficult to handle and more difficult to deal with.  He was obstinate, defiant, and very irritating.  He would act out when others were around just to make me look bad.  He would “tell” on me (lies) to get me in trouble with his father and he would cry if he did not get his way.  It was even extreme even for a 4 year old.  My heart ached for this child, but I decided that I would not be controlled by his behavior and that I could set some rules and standards.

I had to spend some time in prayer to get a handle on this new life.