Kid from Missouri travels

Birth was difficult. Pud was in distress, and after hours of labor, they had to perform an emergency cesarean on Mom. She was struggling with having that C-section because she wanted a natural birth, which was not going to happen as both mom and Pud were in distress.

After Pud was born, they realized he was struggling with some issues. One main concern was the lack of warmth in his hands and feet. His blood was not circulating well. He was only 5lbs 2 oz at birth and had no weight to lose. Mom and Pud stayed in the hospital for seven days. When they left, Pud was at 5lbs.

As a Pud, he was an infant; he had three homes. Pud, having multiple homes, is not unlike my clients; children have two parents, two different homes, plus the babysitter’s or grandparents’ home. This setup makes it difficult for the baby to bond with and attach to a specific person during a vital developmental stage. It also affects feeding, engagement, and brain growth in those first few months. A baby is typically happy with whoever is holding and rocking them; however, when one parent is attentive, and the other is less so, it can add stress to the baby, making it unhappy and hard to settle.

The baby may seem hard to handle and cranky. Infants like consistency, being held, rocked, or bundled up. When his parents or caregiver disrupted his routines or changed his bottles or formula, he became agitated. His actions could result in a hypervigilant, stressed infant, leading the cranky baby to refuse to eat, sleep, and cry.

Knowing how to help the infant adapt to changes is important and could make a big difference in how he handles them in his environment. Research shows that attachment is important to a child’s sense of security. A healthy, secure attachment will allow the child to adapt to new environments and manage his emotions in most situations.

With this in mind, having a primary caregiver will help your child build healthy attachments. Following the primary caregiver’s lead will help to settle and comfort the child. Meaning, all parties use the same formula, food, bottles, and sleeping routine.

Early on, Pud began to cry in his sleep; he would sweat and fuss. He was not hungry and would refuse to open his eyes. At one point, they thought it might be hypoglycemia, but ruled that out. He would fuss and cry like he was in pain. When picked up, he would refuse a bottle but enjoy the tightness of being held and rocked. Once given the bottle, he would only eat enough to satisfy his hunger but not eat enough to gain weight. He stayed in the 10th- 20th percentile for a year.

Given all the challenges he faced, Pud grew and developed on track. He was still behind in weight but on track for height. He also was within normal limits for all developmental stages- he was on the later side, but still within normal limits. Early, we noticed he loved bright colors: red, orange, and blue. He also enjoyed touch, feeling everything within reach, and did not put anything in his mouth. He loved music but hated loud sounds; he also loved watching fast-paced shows like Baby Einstein or Baby Genius. Black-and-white musicals were one of his favorite things to watch. He would climb and pound on everything he could reach.

Eating was still a major concern for all the caregivers. He drank Pediasure for extra nutrition at 9 months. He loved all the flavors, so he had two a day, one for lunch and before bed. He loved seeing his father and would cry when his mother picked him up from childcare. Again, we noticed a different parenting style, as dad would come in and spend a few minutes before taking him home. Mom would run it, grab him, and run out.

Parenting styles can cause stress in children, and their brains will release adrenaline or cortisol. When a parent comes in calm and ready to engage with the child, that child will feel the parent’s emotions and energy. When a parent is anxious, hyper, and moving quickly- grabbing the baby, talking quickly, or running around- the child will feel anxiety and become stressed. Now, the child may be crying and seem to be rejecting the parent. In turn, the parent feels rejected and becomes more anxious and tense. They may speak harshly to the child or caregiver. These first few minutes with the parent can dictate how the evening will unfold.

Signs of Stress in your baby:  according to the March of Dimes

WebMD   Research

https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1709-babies-and-stress-the-facts

1. Babies can be affected by parents’ moods – and sense how they feel as early as 3 months old.

“This means that when parents experience ongoing, significant stress, babies absorb it. They pick up on their caregivers’ facial expressions and tone of voice—whether they are sad, angry, or happy—right from the start, and react accordingly.”

Pud would begin to react to his surroundings at an early age; by 3 months, he was super vigilant. Upon waking up, he would look around to see where he was. He would react to the environment according to what he sensed was happening. His older sister would bring him to his caregiver when their home was stressful and unhealthy for him. He would calm down when he saw his primary caregiver and begin to react positively.

2. Babies have big feelings

“Babies can begin feeling sadness and fear as early as 3-5 months of age. Our research revealed that 42% of parents believe babies begin experiencing these feelings at one year or older. But the fact is that way before they can say their first words, as early as 3 to 5 months old, babies experience a whole range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and fear. A critical factor in nurturing healthy development is parents’ ability to read and respond to their baby’s cues about how they are feeling and what they need to feel safe and secure.”

Pud’s reactions to different people, places, sounds, and smells show he was very aware of his surroundings and the people in his world. He began to show anger, fear, and sadness. His emotions affected his eating, playing, and eventually his health. One of my clients reported their child had shown signs of ‘failure to thrive’ due to the home’s stress and activity.

3. Babies figure out what’s going on in the world by watching parents’ reactions.

“They read the facial expressions and actions of their trusted caregivers to figure out the meaning of a situation—such as whether they are safe or should be wary or afraid…If a parent finds himself consumed by anger or worry, it is important to be aware of the impact on the child and to be mindful not to express these feelings in front of the child.

Pud’s reaction to his mother and stepmother was different than his reaction to his father and caregiver. He would read their faces and body language, which told him their stress levels, emotional states, and temperatures during his time with them. He would investigate their face to see what reaction he received. He would try to make them engage when they gave him a cold stare or a nonresponsive look. He tried to engage until frustrated and would begin to cry, hit, or withdraw. This action reminded me of “The Still Face Experiment, developed by Dr. Edward Tronick in the 1970s, which demonstrates that infants are deeply affected by emotional unavailability.

When you are stressed, the body produces hormones that trigger the fight-or-flight response. Baby’s brains work the same way as adults. One thing to note is that if flooded with stress hormones, it is difficult to develop other parts of the brain. The child is in a hyper-vigilant mode, so the social part of the brain may not develop. It is also hard to think properly when you are always worried or fearful. This social part of your brain helps with empathy and understanding people and holds memories of fear. Research shows that children who cannot talk still remember abuse and stress. Memories in this part of the brain could hold the answers.

The Anterior cingulate cortex is complex and develops in stages. At around 6-12 months, your baby will begin to distinguish faces; however, they can recognize emotions much earlier. When a child is fearful or stressed, this part of the brain goes into action, but in a dysfunctional way, indicating that the fear is amplified. The fear response occurs, and parts of the brain go into safety mode, indicating danger. When this happens, the brain floods with stress hormones.

A child who lives with continued stress and anxiety will struggle in many areas of their life.

Teaching parents to understand how their stress, past or current abuse, parenting style, and lifestyle affect their child may help with growth, positive interactions, and secure attachment.