Photo by Julia M
Memories of Years Gone By
March 2010
Today it was cold and rainy a nice day for sleeping but the only one sleeping was baby Scott. I needed to be sure that today Lane was going to be nice or at least try to behave. Her ‘yes nanny’ and ‘OK nanny’ with her cute little turned-up nose was not going to work. She would get timeout today- or I hoped I would win the battle and get her into time out.
Yesterday this beautiful, smart adorable little angel pick up blocks and hit Evan on the head and when he cried said in a nasty snarl- ‘you cry baby’ and went on to play with her dolls making them tea and soup. Today I determined that she would be nice to Evan and share the playroom I went in and played with her. It is the only way I can get her to play nice! Interestingly enough when she walked in Evan said “Lane doesn’t knock my dinosaurs down” Lane looked at him ready to attack with a toy rat ( not sure where she got that from) Surveying the scene I sat in at the play table and asked Evan why he did not want her to knock down his dinosaur town. He said, ‘because it will make me sad. I answered, remember when you got mad at me yesterday for not letting you have her magic wand and you came in and kicked over her castle?” He keep looking down at the table and said “yes”, I then asked him how she felt when he did that. He replied, “I don’t know, probably sad.” Well, do you think she should repay you for knocking down her things by doing to same to you?” I asked. He did not think that was an idea because he would be really sad and mad and she was not building a castle today. I told him she was not going to knock down his toys but he needed to remember that if he teaches her to knock down things just because he wants to she will do the same. He said it was different because it was his, but he would think about it. I am not sure he will remember but I tried to help him see his actions were teaching her to knock things over. Like when he taught her to make the dog fly- so everything had to fly, the blocks, balls, cups, food, train only to fly at his head.
Lane decided to play with the balls and put them in a bowl for soup. Evan was able to play nicely without being disturbed. A short quiet time of free play. After about 20 minutes my back was hurting from sitting on the floor so we went back outside.
It was a wonderful time for Evan to play with his friend next door acting like monsters, racing and riding their scooters. They were so busy playing that they played right up to lunchtime. I did not want to interrupt their playing time so I made some cookies and brought them a treat outside. When I looked out to check on them they were sitting on the steps talking and eating their cookies. The little boy next door is so outgoing and is not the least bit shy. For example, today he comes running into the house asking if he can have a snack. I tell him ‘no because they just had snacks’ he informed me that he did not have one because he was gone with his mother. Nevertheless, I tell him you can not have a snack right now but I will get you one later the cookies!
Lane played with the boys for a while. She was running and chasing them on their scooters. She kept running out into the rain so I had her come in to play for a while. She did not mind because Dora was on. She is so funny lately she will speak a little Chinese, Spanish, and English- all are hard to understand when she talks but she knows exactly what she is saying. Today she was asking for fout- not sure what that was so we went to the kitchen, opened all the cupboards and the refrigerator to find out she want fruit. Alas, I did not have what she wanted because she ate it yesterday cantaloupe.
Baby Scott was sleeping. I was beginning to worry about him because he had been up most of the morning and when he fell asleep he was sleeping so sound that when Lane went yelling into his room he did not move. I don’t want to be a paranoid nanny but I keep checking on him to see if he is breathing. I know at 4 months they are still sleeping a lot but his sleep was so deep I had to move his pacifier to make sure he would move. Crazy I know- but he slept 3 hours!! and went through a feeding time.
In the meantime, because Lane is being potty trained (with great resistance although she really is ready) on certain days she refused to use the potty or get her diaper changed. Unfortunately for all of us she only does what she wants to do when she wants to do it. She is defiantly in her terrible two’s. When I went to put her on the potty she began screaming “I want mommy. No potty! Not going potty. I no want gum, I no want stickers. I no do this.” As I tried to get her diaper off she threw herself back toward the floor. Luckily I caught her before she hit the side of the tub. At this point she was in hysterics, yelling, kicking, and screaming…..No potty- I hate potty!! Finally, after a huge struggle we got the diaper off and her on the potty seat.
Now I know this is not the way to get her to enjoy the go- so to speak but I had to put her someplace until I got another diaper out for her. Also yesterday she ran outside before I got the diaper ready for her. Today I felt confident and successful so I was going to sit her down, grab the diaper, and put it on her before she ran off. I was only a little successful- she got off the toilet seat as I grabbed a diaper from under the cabinet as she jumped off the seat and began to run. I turned quickly and with one hand snatched her up into my arm, twisted around, and set her on the floor so I could put on the diaper. Success!! all done with 0nly a few screams of despair and anguish- mine this time.
Finally, diaper on, lunch made, and ate now it is nap time!! Yah!! The baby is still sleeping-not sure why but not going to disturb him at this point in the game. A few minutes for myself when the baby wakes up. He is smiling and cooing, twisting back and forth full of energy. I get him out of his crib, change him and we sit on the floor while he plays a while. I am shocked that he is not starving because he slept through his feeding. Well, at least he is happy!! Today he has been rolling over a lot, but as most babies do he gets over on his tummy and fusses because his arm is caught. His little legs are so chubby and cute kicking back and forth that he will be crawling soon. As I look at him I fall in love all over again. His little toothless smile, chubby arms, and legs kicked and cooed for me to hold him. I pick him up and hold him close, rocking him while I feed him his bottle.
I have to savor these moments because they pass so quickly. I check in on Lane and see her adorable sleeping angelic face. I shudder to think what she will be like as a teenager but right now she is the most precious girl I know. My pride and joy all rolled up in independence. Evan looks at me with his questioning eyes- I am finally getting through to him. He is so old yet so young all at once. He still does not give me a real hug but at least he is talking to me and does not hate me as he once did.
All in all a good day…. nanny’s life is not so bad
Hannable Missouri
what does steampunk look like in Hannibal Missouri- this Roadside stop tells it all
Route 66 from Saint Clair to Devil’s Elbow Missouri
Get your kicks on route 66- this roadside stop has so much to see and do. Don’t forget it on your next afternoon drive
Rockin’ Jump Trampoline Park
if you need time to play and exercise this is the perfect spot for you
Self- Care and Stress
What do you do for Self-Care? Here are a few options you might try
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A very bad year and then Covid
Work and home life are colliding while navigating the stressful times. How do we manage to find a clear path and complete the course? What do we do ask God to make the way visible, and we still do not see the plan or an opening for change? Are we looking for change or relief?
I feel like I am hitting myself in the head and have reached the ceiling with my search for the right road. It is frustrating and confusing when nothing changes, but everything has changed.
Change can come slowly or suddenly- I like the sudden change when I ask for a new idea, plan, or road to take. A sudden increase in business, new clients, an increase in viewers, additional resources, and completed work are fantastic when you have prayed and waited for things to move along. However, it is usually a long wait and, suddenly, happens after much hard work, sweat, and a few tears.
Learning to juggle all the little pieces to make a big puzzle can be exhausting. Looking at it with fresh and open eyes can be demanding and almost impossible.
So how do we get there? That is the million-dollar question I ask myself daily. I find myself tired and backed up with work. I realize I hate making decisions because I want them to be the right decision for the long haul. I get stuck on little details and break down at the small mess-ups.
The last few months have been a trial for me. I know I will get through it, but I feel like I may explode or walk away if anything else happens.
I know I am not the only person who feels that way.
This summer, the events of my life: a call from the city to say my water bill has doubled, making me call a plumber to check out the problem. The plumber came and spent a few days digging, moving, and inspecting. Finally, the issue – a leak outside the house. While inside the house, we had other problems to deal with. The plumber put in new lines for the water, repaired the sewer line, and got things back in working order. A week later, a call from the city?! ‘Miss M, your water bill is $260. Me ‘What! I paid a double water bill, and my plumbing should be fixed.” The city and I have a few words and talk it out. The following week, I got a certified letter saying I had a broken and had ten days to fix it. They are turning off my water.
I put in another call to the plumber. He comes and looks over the situation. It is not good, and it will be expensive. My water meter is two houses down, which makes it go across two private yards. It can not be moved to my home because the main water line is across the street. If I move it to my house, I will need to close the road, repair the road, and lay a new back top on the existing road. The cost is ridiculous. The city will not let me put in a meter and tap into the line next door (on my driveway). So we need someone to bore underground across two other backyards and most of my backyard. We have to put in a new pipe to replace the old line across that same path, leaving my meter at the end of the road in someone else’s yard. So the work begins, and I take the day off—my plumbing bills are up to $4000 now.
In the meantime!
I receive a report on my washer- broken; get a new one.
The dryer quits a few days later.
The insurance man comes and says he will pay for some of the damage but nothing on the plumbing. A little is better than nothing, I always say!
So I am getting a new carpet! Now the problem is, what do I want to get? And with the little bit the insurance paid, it is not even half of what the new carpet will cost—so moving on.
My refrigerator breaks down- it will not keep food cold. I called to ask the city if they would take it. They tell me that I need to call someone to put a ‘safe’ sticker on it and take it for the low price of $50. I call around, and a service charge of $100 and travel fees will apply. New idea!
I post on Facebook. Someone answers my ad and comes to take them away! Score! I need someone to take my refrigerator, washer, and dryer off my hands.
Back to the plumbing- the city tells me they will pay half my water bill if I take the paid plumbing bill in, so I take it in, and they tell me they are paying this month’s water bill with a credit of $9. My mind races because my next water bill will be at least $300.
I focused on flooring now as I have a total of $1000 from the insurance, and the mortgage company wants my floor to look the same or better. Getting the house up to the mortgage company statement is a running joke because the carpet has needed changing due to the last owner huffing gas in the home with barrels of stuff that left large ring stains; after seven years of scrubbing are gone, finally! However, I still need a carpet, and all the money went to plumbing, so this carpet dilemma is stressful.
When your house is only 675 sq feet, the carpet and kitchen are open, so I need new flooring in the kitchen and a small hallway. My grandchildren’s bedroom is an option if I want things to be uniform- but do I? So many decisions and so little money! So I sit and wait for the miracle of money to show up. But it does not- am I surprised? not really. Is it because I did not pray enough? Maybe God is mad at me? Or could this be some crazy attack on my life? I would say none of the above because it is just life.
I was prepared for new plumbing to use the washing machine; I was not ready for the mainline job. I knew the plumbing was bad and needed repairing. I did not realize it was so bad or at the corner of the street and not the meter in my driveway. I also knew the carpet would be replaced- well, after the plumbing in the house ( not the mainline). Now I have new plumbing to the mainline and the mainline repaired.
I had an idea for the flooring, but after the installers came out, they reported the concrete in the back room would not allow the flooring I wanted. Now a new idea has to form. Do I add carpet to the grandkids’ bedroom when I replace the living room, or do I get one place at a time?
I keep hearing ‘do one room at a time’ I have to think that is God speaking to me so I will not feel left in the cold. I stop all repairs because I become overwhelmed with choices, costs, and changes.
Now my plumbing is fixed, but all the landscaping I completed earlier this summer -was destroyed. I need someone to repair my patio and driveway. I need the torn-up concrete removed from my flower beds and new topsoil brought in. I also need to have fleas and ants I can’t seem to exterminate. Maybe when the big gaping hole in my patio gets fixed, the pests will go also?
My large oak tree was damaged because the boring left the flower bed was a sight to see and dangerous to walk on. Will it take three years to know if it is damaged?
Back to the flooring- I finally chose a carpet for the living room, waited for the grandkids’ bedroom, and had my son help with the kitchen floor. Little by little is the only way I can do it.
I also have to replace the bathroom- the insurance gave me a little money for repairs to the bathroom but, as always, not enough to protect it later. I know the bathroom plumbing needs some repair, so I wait on that project with positive thoughts and making a plan.
No, I did not buy new appliances, and yes, I have a mini-fridge, hot plate, and air fryer- Oh, I forgot to say after having my ceiling painted, I was putting things back on the cabinets and knelt on my stove. The stove was glass and shattered, so yes, a hot plate and fair fryer completed my kitchen appliance.
With my house a mess and no desire to clean it, I wait for phone calls from contractors, exterminators, and carpet installers. I battle with the idea of a go-fund-me page, but I know God will get me through this mess. My unexpected summer plans are small in the big picture of homeownership and the dream of a bit of country cottage with flowers and vegetables on our back.
Relationship Gone bad- he is only 4!
My first few days together were taxing, to say the least. I was taking Lane (14 months) and Evan 4 to the park to spend some time together. I picked up Evan first for some ‘bonding time’ all he did was complain that his grandma and pappy took him to get some toys, they always let him do what he wanted and he never had to eat fish. (I had bought a fish sandwich for him)
Our day only got better. He began to push me away telling everyone he did not like me and that I was mean. I tried to hug him only to have him push my way. I would ask him what was wrong and he would tell me he wanted his grandma and pappy. He did not want me. As we drove home I told him very sternly that for now he had me and we were going to have to work this out. He began to cry.
I was not making a lot of brownie points with this kid, I tried to figure out what to do to win him over but nothing worked. He refused to like me. I refused to give in to his demands of eating junk food, talking nonstop instead of eating, and being mean to his sister, I also would not put up with the hateful attitude every time he spoke to me and he needed to stop calling me by my name. All things to work on but how to tackle them so that he would stop acting out every time we had an outing?
I brought him back to the house to drop him off and Lane wanted to play. She was bringing me her babies to hold and feed. We played for a while, I held her and rocked her to sleep and it was time to go home. All in all a long, long day. I had to be thankful that Evan did not kick, bite or throw things. He was actually very mature in his language but immature in his social and academic skills. One request his dad had made was that I would work with Lane on academics. We would begin tomorrow.
Easter at Purina Farms
We had a very busy weekend, an Easter egg hunt, the animal show, and Easter Village at Purina Farms, and time with friends. I love spending special days with the kids like this it helps me to remember why I came back to life.
Today Lane came into my office and brought me my jade necklace with a heart on it. She said “here nanny put this on, it has a heart, now you are a princess” WE then went to my bedroom closet so she could pick a hat. After she was satisfied with her selection, for both of us. She told me to go to the mirror, we proceeded to the closest mirror and looked at ourselves. Taking a deep breath she replied: “beautiful”
As she played “princess” Evan was watching TV, he was so tired from the busy day that all he could do was cry, whine and fight with whoever came his way. I hoped that a long movie would either put him to sleep or give him enough rest so he could finish out the night without much trouble. He had hit a stage where all he did was cry, I am not sure if he is really tired or just frustrated. If he is frustrated I can’t for the life of me think of why. Something else to try to work out with him.
He did make us some artwork for different areas in the playroom, we have a large bear for the Pooh area, a play car for the, well you guessed it, a car area, and a house for the cooking area. He is very proud of his work and he should be!! His new passion is drawing, he draws anything he can think of, and he paints and uses chalks also. He thinks he may be an artist when he grows up, well if he can’t work at Purina Farms as an animal trainer.
Lane loves the animals and she is always trying to pet them, today a little pig bit her finger. It scared her more than anything else. It did, however, keep her from patting any more animals. Not a bad thing in my mind because she really wanted to pet the horses! She loves rocks, mud, and animals… She may be an animal trainer, farmer, or archeologist. Only time will tell, she may grow out of it and hate to get her hand dirty in a few years.
It’s hard to think of a few years when I have to deal with today, but today was a great day!!
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